spiritual bulimia

i can't believe it's been a whole month since i posted last! i'll try to be better about that...

so i'm reading this new book "irresistible revolution" (which i recommend for everyone...in fact, go buy it-right now!) and it's got some really interesting things to say. a lot of it has to do with the church and who we're called to be, and it's hurting me. like, seriously, painful stuff. i'm beginning to wonder about my life and who Christ has called me to be. the author of the book, shane claiborne, makes some really good points. he brings up the stories of nicodemus and the rich young man....one he tells that he needs to be reborn, and the other he tells to go and sell everything to follow Christ. shane adds a quote by rich mullins too:

"we do need to be born again, since Jesus said that to a guy named nicodemus. but if you tell me that i have to be born again to enter the kingdom of God, i can tell you that you have to sell everything you have and give it to the poor, because Jesus said that to one guy too. but i guess that's why God invented highlighters, so we can highlight the parts we like and ignore the rest."

now, if this is the case...where do i stand? what can i do?

i got in a argument at school today (i know, those of you in our discussion group are really shocked) about what it means to "sell everything". a lot of people in my class didn't see anything wrong with having a house in river oaks while still giving to the poor. i don't know though...it seems that if we really wanted to effect our world we wouldn't need such a fancy house. and if that's the case....i shouldn't need such a fancy apartment and fancy car. this is where the pain comes in...i have so much that i need to change...

the author, shane, got to go visit with mother theresa and then he came back to try to help us silly americans. i wish, so bad, that i could just pack up and go t africa or calcutta to hang out with lepers, but maybe i'm supposed to be here. maybe i'm supposed to do something really "christian" here. my whole definition of that word is beginning to change, and it's kinda scary.

so i've got some things to think about. finals are drawing to and end this week and next and then i've got the whole summer to hang out with ken (poor guy!) after that, it'll be back to HBU. hopefully i'll find a really cool place to live with other christians that really want to start to effect the world around us, and maybe we'll actually start to help the orphans, the widows, and the poor.

anyways, that's where i am. i hope that those of you that are reading this go pick up the book. it's a great story...i'll even let you have mine when I'm done :)