and again...

resolution:
-the act of resolving or determining upon
an action or course of action, method, procedure, etc.
-the mental state or quality of being resolved
or resolute; firmness of purpose.

.....................

'do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world,

but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—

his good, pleasing and perfect will.'

romans 12:2

.........................

the end of a year and the beginning of another...

it always seems like such a pinnacle moment.

i've needed some time to think things over,

and so here we are.

maybe they're right,

maybe my mind has to change before my actions.

i wonder if the heart and the mind are equivalent.

we discussed our 'new years resolutions' last night at wellspring...

or lack thereof for some.

i think most of us are caught again wondering if we're just treating symptoms

rather than the actual disease.

'until i really believe that eating better will actually be better for my health,

i'll lose my resolution 3 weeks into it'.

maybe ken is right...perhaps our minds have to be made up first.

....................................................

i'm trying to decide where to work as i finish out this last year at school.

i'd really like to do something good...

something positive for humanity.

my great biology professor said to our class the other day...

'you want to know enough to do well on the test,

i want you to know enough to change the world.'

with all our talk about global warming, about the rain forest,

about starvation....

i feel overwhelmed. always...overwhelmed.

and i'm beginning to wonder if all of these things are just symptoms.

many people already believe they are...

i'm just now beginning to see the correlation.

so how do we begin to save the depravity of humankind

so it will in turn stop killing the earth and each other?

i suppose i begin with me.

................................................

so i'm resolving to stop trying to resolve everything.

for the past year i've been waiting on God to resolve...

and i think i'd like to stop that.

no, i know i'd like to stop.

God keeps refusing to be reduced

to be separated

to be dealt with

to be easy.

and so, if God will allow me the space and the time...

...with some urgency of course...

then i will do the same for God.

my demands for God to show up have gotten me nowhere...

and neither have my twiddled thumbs.

so i'm being renewed...

beginning again...

restoring

replenishing

reviving.

so here i am.

a new place in the journey.

we'll see how it goes...