girl growing

and a space for her to play in

Thursday, July 17, 2008

day two

day two:
shannon told me to get lost...
so i did. 
i didn't take a map at all, and that was totally okay.
i walked...
by the end, my feet were totally bloody and blistered,
and some of the parts of the city i saw really weren't that beautiful,
but the point was taken-i was shocked-all the anxiety i thought would be there around traveling london alone wasn't there.
i jammed to kevin's mix of 'david crowder' stuff and it was the first time that i've listened to jesus-music on my own. 
it was pretty neat having that as a background to all that i saw, and all the pretty pictures i took.
then we went and met with some other twenty something girls in the area that are doing 'the artist way' which is also a book that i'm doing that i think most people should do :) 
the girls were great and it was neat meeting with people closer to my age that are doing really neat things in the city.
plus, i really shared myself.
put it all out there on the table, and i think it was a really great moment for me.

day three:
helped shannon get ready for a meeting between a couple really cool groups. 
i met a guy named lee behar that works for a private foundation that hands out money to people like shannon. he's in his mid-forties and really affirms people that are doing some really different things, but he's also brilliant when it comes to business.
then he took shannon and i out to get 'a curry'.
i've never had curry and was a little hesitant, but it was really good!
everyday i get home so exhausted, but then i wake up and remember...
i'm in london.

day four:
spent the whole day seeing more of the city:
saw the national museum-van gogh's sunflowers were my favorite, mostly for the reasons he actually did the painting. (it's a secret, you'll have to figure it out yourself)
then we shopped around carnaby street (and when i shopped, i mean i looked)
i saw howies!!! that was pretty exciting, i love those people.
we went to the liberty which is a building in the tudor style.
it was beautiful and the inside looked like a cross between anthropolgie and real simple.
(yes deanna, i will take you there one day)
it was a beautiful day and was finished off by watching 'pride and prejudice' favorite.

day five:
last night i stayed up late reading fenelon's collection of letters 'let go'. 
if you have never read it and want some advice on suffering, i suggest you read it.
right now i'm sitting back in gastromica coffee shop drinking that italian hot chocolate that is more like pudding. i love it.
shannon and i are working on some more of my travel plans-
i go to switzerland this weekend and then maybe the taize community in france afterward.
then comes orkney with the jones',
maybe prague, karlsruhe, 
telford, greenbelt festival, and who knows where else.
we're also working on 'sweet notions' and more creative projects for me.
everyday i am being more and more undone.
i am learning how to let go of so many things...
people i held on to, habits i had, the 'self' that i wanted more than a free life with God.
i'm praying (something new for me).
i'm writing continually,
and reading as well.
i'm creating ideas for what could be back in the states,
or even what could be here for me in the UK...
we'll just have to see.

but i miss home.
i miss my family and i miss my communities.
but i'm really trying to be fully present to all that is here,
but also giving myself the grace to walk through pain and grief...
and that i don't have to have everything packaged and understood right now.
it's wonderful,
and i am so grateful to be here.
hallelujah. hallelujah. hallelujah.


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