who i am

it's weird, being in a new place where no one knows who i am.

i'm able to be the juli i want to be.

i am not covered by anxiety, by pain, by shame.

i am just me and i reveal my story piece by piece,

but mostly i just be.

it is surreal...

sometimes it's as if i'm outside of my body looking in.

i see this happy girl that is carefree, without worry, honest, and spontaneous.

i didn't know this juli existed.

kinda makes me sad that i didn't know she could exist,

and it's hard not to wonder what my life will be like if i choose to go back home to the states.

i'm already forgetting the faces of people back home...

their voices, their smells, their touch.

i wonder if they remember me clearly still,

if they think about me from time to time,

and i wonder if they will recognize me when i get home.

somehow i'm not even sure that i'll recognize myself.