e·merge

 definition: to come forth into view or notice, as from concealment or obscurity.

now, i don't know about most people these days,

but it seems the whole 'emerging/emergent' movement has gotten more confusing as time goes by.

seven years ago i found myself leaving the episcopal church i had been raised with,

and began to journey with ecclesia church in houston when they had around 40 people and were still in a gym.

5 years after that i found wellspring through a class at HBU,

and no one but the heavens could have orchestrated that meeting.

i was in desperate need of something more and ironically found it in my hometown.

(that is another story for another day)

i remember going back to school the day after my 'worship and music' class had attended wellspring,

and so many students were upset by what they had seen.

'there was no clear pastor/preacher.'

'the communion wasn't given enough attention and wasn't blessed.'

'they played secular music before the service started.'

'they meet in a bar/poker venue!'

the list went on and on.

my professors listened quietly and tried to explain the experience as best they could,

but i found myself in tears.

whatever that was, whatever i had experienced at wellspring was the representation of all that i believed the church should be striving for...

and my fellow students were spitting on it.

this month marks the 3 year anniversary of my commitment to wellspring.

the following year my university began offering a class in the 'emerging church'.

my schedule didn't allow for me to take the class but my boyfriend did.

i found myself in a bitter place.

over the year i had spent a lot of time reading up and studying the emerging movement,

and i took on many of my ultra-conservative baptist schoolmates with gloves off and guns blazing.

it was something worth fighting for.

it was a movement i believed in,

and still do.

i just don't argue anymore.

i don't try to build walls of sound theological groundwork from which to hide behind as i throw biblical spears at my friends.

in fact, i find myself tired.

since finding wellspring i've also joined in with other groups that are living out these new forms of church and some are totally unaware of the 'emerging conversation'.

this 'postmodern/emerging/emergent/community/collective' debate is part of who i am.

i can't let that go,

but at the same time i find myself weary from the fighting.

i do feel as though something new is coming in all this,

(perhaps that's my own addiction to change)

but i do believe that the next generation will do some things differently.

maybe that will be my generation, the early twenty somethings,

or maybe it will be my children.

maybe we will 'birth it or bury it' as my friend karen has said before.

maybe it will just continue to emerge.

or maybe it will descend even further into obscurity.

time will tell.

for those of you who want to read about the current discussion of whether we should lose the word 'emerging', check out some of my friends who have blogged recently.

mark berry

jonny baker

andrew jones

and the christianity today article  from a month ago that reads:

'R.I.P. emerging church: an overused and corrupted term now sleeps with the fishes.'

guess we'll find out if they're right.