blustery

yesterday was one of the windiest days that houston has seen in quite awhile.

we usually don't catch wind...just heat and humidity.

i found myself on campus caught in the middle of all that wind.

lucky i have my short hair...it flipped and whipped around and i didn't care a bit.

the sunny and cloudless skies were deceiving though...

they made me believe that it was fine to go out and play.

the wind stung my face if i stayed out too long...

and the 'breeze' chilled me to the core.

i would see friends only a few yards away and when i tried to speak to them, the wind would wisk the words right out of my mouth right as they left my lips.

at one point i walked around the corner of a building and was nearly knocked over by a strong gust of wind.

i found myself scrambling to hold onto something...

something sturdy...

something secure...

something tangible.

but that's not the wind.

it's unseen.

it's mysterious.

it's hard to watch it come and go,

and it can be painful.

it'll knock the breath right out of you.

the wind was frustrating.

i walked out of my house that morning thinking i was walking into a beautiful day...

instead, i found myself doubting my steps.

doubting each corner turned.

i was amazed at its magnificent force...

the trees would bend to it,

people leaned into it or braced themselves for it,

and it never stayed constant.

i'm feeling similar lately.

too much to type tonight and right now, words have to be chosen wisely.

i'm hurt.

i'm worried.

i'm frustrated and angry.

i'm relieved.

i'm liberated.

i'm wondering what is next.

several big changes in my life occurred this week...

and i don't know what it all means yet.

what i do know, is that i've had the breath knocked out of me...

and instead of picking myself up and trying to fight the invisible wind...

i'm going to try to be graceful.

i may have bruises and scratches,

but at least i'm feeling.

i'm alive.

perhaps tomorrow will be prettier.