girl growing

and a space for her to play in

Wednesday, December 06, 2006


earlier this week i found myself at a very difficult moment.

i had spent the night mingling with friends in one of my most favorite places- karen's apartment- and chatting with some of the neatest people i know.
ryan and rodney finally got a chance to be cute.
deanna got a break and got a chance to get out for a night.
(yesterday was her birthday, but don't make a big deal about it. >cough cough<)
some of karen's "pastor" friends helped me see that just because you work for a traditional church does not mean you cannot be overwhelmingly cool.
melissa...nathan...ken & becky...they were all there and it was great just to be in a warm, smiling, festive place.
and we were mostly there to celebrate the fact that our dear friend shannon is leaving us to head back to london.
...we celebrate everything it seems...
i even got to fix ken a mixed drink!
it was wonderful.
and then at the end of the night i got to have a good chat with two of the neatest, wisest, kindest women i know.
and they helped me...
they listened...offered observances they had...and asked some hard questions.
the biggest one was....'how do you feel centered again, or whole'....
and i had no idea what to say.
when things start to go awry, how do i draw it all back in again?
they mentioned that sometimes they go on a walk, or seek out action...
and others find themselves with music, or on a mountain...
and i still had no idea.
i want to find it.
and i'm thinking it might require some outside help.
so i'm finding myself contemplating therapy with a woman we all know and trust.
it's a scary thing to venture toward...but like shannon said...
if you want to be holistic...
you need physical health
mental health
spiritual health
and emotional health.
i'd like to have all those things...
as karen said, i'd like to get out of my head and into my body.
some of us have been in conversation about starting a new group at both HBU and U of H.
a place for us kids to go and feel free to drink breath.
perhaps ken is right, and this is time for me to move into action.
i've watched him...and now it might be time for me to facilitate.
ryan and i talked the other night about how great it feels to be in places where we feel understood.
i feel that way with him...
with wellspring.
i want others to feel understood and i'd like to meet others that make me feel that way as well.
in fact, in august i'll be traveling with a handful of others to go visit our dear friends in england.
i'll go that far to be with people that understand me...
and so for anyone that stumbles upon this blog,
i hope you have it somehow...
especially this time of year.
i hope that you have some way of allaying the fears, doubts, suspicions, or anger.
that you have a way to be at rest.
to calm;
to quiet.


Blogger KC said...

looking forward with much anticipation as to what your next steps will look like . . . hmmmm . . . what will our juli do? . . . very proud of all you have been/done and think that what's next is going to be even more thrilling!

8:29 AM  
Blogger Askinstoo said...

Hi, i was looking over your blog and didn't
quite find what I was looking for. I'm looking for
different ways to earn money... I did find this though...
a place where you can make some nice extra cash secret shopping.
I made over $900 last month having fun!
make extra money now

5:32 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home