girl growing

and a space for her to play in

Sunday, December 02, 2007


1. a coming into place, view, or being; arrival
2. the coming of Christ into the world.
3. the period beginning four Sundays before Christmas, observed in commemoration of the coming of Christ into the world.
my friend kevin found this site which gave us some great ideas that we're using in our services at wellspring over the next few weeks:
i'm also going on hiatus from writing the blessing during this advent time...
while i get my life together.
so instead, i leave you with brian mclaren's new creed...
check out his new book too, ken recommended it & we're beginning to read it in our small group. i'm really digging it.
everything must change
the justice creed

we believe that the living God is just
and that the true and living God loves justice.
God delights in just laws and rejoices in just people.
God sides with those who are oppressed by injustice,
and stands against oppressors.
God is grieved by unjust people and the unjust systems they create and sustain.
God blesses those who hunger and thirst for justice,
and God’s kingdom belongs to those willing to be persecuted for the sake of justice.
to God, justice is a weighty thing which can never be ignored.
we believe that Jesus, the liberating king, came to free humanity from injustice and to display the justice of God,
in word and deed, in life, death, and resurrection.
the justice which God desires, Jesus taught must surpass that of the hypocrites.
for the justice of God is a compassionate justice,
rich in mercy and abounding in love
for the last, the least, the lost and the outcast.
on his cross, Jesus drew the injustice of humanity into the light,
and there the heartless injustice of human empire met.
the reconciling justice of the kingdom of God.
the resurrection of Jesus proclaims that the true justice of God- naked, vulnerable, and scarred by abuse is stronger than the violent, injustice of humanity armed with weapons, conceit, deceit, and lies.
we believe that the Holy Spirit is here now,
convicting the world of sin and justice,
warning that God’s judgment will come on all that is unjust.
we believe that the kingdom of God is justice, peace, and joy in the holy spirit. empowered by the Spirit,
then we seek first God’s Kingdom and God’s justice.
for the world as it is has not yet become the world as God desires it to be...
and so we live and work and pray until justice rolls down like water...
and flows strong and free like a never failing stream.
for we believe that the living God is just and that the true and living God loves justice.

Saturday, December 01, 2007


on tuesday night i was sat at my desk and my ymca's wellness director came by to check on me.
i had mentioned in our staff meeting earlier that day that i had placed by new school/work schedule on my desk.
i had created an excel file, color-coordinated for when i had class, work, and personal time such as church and therapy.
she asked what the white boxes were.
i told her it was my free time.
in all, there were 10 hours of free time during the week.
she told me she was scared for me...
that i was out of balance...
and that it couldn't last long.
i just sat there, appalled.
everyone else at work had been telling me about how they had worked and gone to school at the same time, and that i shouldn't stress out-they had done it too.
she was the first one to show any concern about me...or my health.
when i came out of the shock from what she had said,
i saw it...
just because i could do it, didn't mean i should.
just because they had done it, didn't mean i should.
no, the emperor wasn't wearing any clothes...
and soon, i wouldn't be either.
lately i've felt like one of those people in the circus,
the ones with the poles and plates spinning on them.
i was trying to balance more than a full course load at school,
40+ hours at work with a boss that's one of my best friends and yet in three months never complimented any of my hard work,
this 'fast' from ryan,
the holidays,
and my very crazy family.
one of those plates had to fall.
i called my dad the night i had this revelation.
he told me that at this time in my life i've got three major areas to keep healthy:
work life,
social life,
and my school life.
if two out of three are working then i should be able to deal with the one that isn't.
i was 3 for 3.
so i quit my job.
i'm still dealing with what that means.
part of me feels like a failure,
like i couldn't follow through.
i love the kids i work with,
and now i wonder if i've abandoned them.
that i couldn't just suck it up...
that i couldn't make it work...
that i complain too much...
and then part of me is heaving this big sigh of relief that it's all over.
it's saturday and i've been watching tv all morning.
i don't know when the last time i got to do that was.
i want to rest.
i want to play with my friends.
i want to enjoy school and do well so i can graduate in may.
i want to put forth the time that it takes for inner healing and growth.
maybe now i can.
maybe now i can finally breathe.